Monkey Brain

Another beautiful day at the local playgroup

I’m having a bad case of Monkey Brain. Thoughts are jumbled and my head can’t stop buzzing. Writing it down often helps to gains some perspective. So here we go.
I started to blame my monkey brain on my yoga teacher, who has been away for the last 5 weeks. The yoga normally helps me balance and focus.
But to be honest, I have to look very closely on my priorities, I’ve taken on a lot. And I love all of it, but I was getting to the point where too much was going on to get any joy out of it.
When you feel you’re constantly rushing onto the next thing on the list. When hobbies become a job on your list, yoga a task, cooking a chore and a hobby business stressful. Constantly packing the week so full that there is no room for error, sick kids or appointments. And then your cleaner quits... Adding even more to the list. So yes, yoga surely helps a lot, but I’m doing something wrong... When was the last time my shoulders weren’t hurting?
I can’t remember...

Do I want to drop anything? Absolutely not! But my family will always hold first priority.
My ideas on expanding my hobby business might have to go on the back burner, until the youngest two are a little older. Because it’s not feeling right at the moment, how much it pains me to loose the offers and chances I’ve got right in front of me at the moment. My thoughts keep going back and forward with it, its been going round and round in my head for the last month. Giving me a tension headache and feeling tired. The fact that I need so long to make up my mind, probably says enough... It’s just not coming together right now, forcing it will only make my head hurt more.

Keen as mustard, Alex started soccer. Another drive on my taxi list, but a great place to catch up with friends.
I found I’m actually looking forward to all these hidden social moments in my week.

So I tried sticking to my basics and make sure I get enjoyment out of it. And instead of go-go-go, taking time to reflect.
I’ve taken the last week off, nothing more then the basics (plenty of those!). No granola baking, no sewing, no gym sessions, mostly playing with the kids and some staring out of the window. Reflecting. It was actually quite nice, for a couple of days. But I quickly realised, I don’t do well being idle. (My worst nightmare would be stuck in a fancy resort for a week!) But I did work out what I missed most: baking & making.

I get a real kick out of bartering with local farmers for fresh produce. Their surplus like lemons, ginger, limes, garlic, turmeric, chillies, pumpkins, rhubarb... gets turned into curry paste, preserved lemons, lime honey, sweet chilli sauce, ferments, compote. My excess then gets bartered again for more produce. It keeps me creative in using all those different ingredients and happily cooking away, filling my pantry and fridge with healthy goodies.

I’ve put an ad on the local home growers page, asking to barter for any surplus produce with my excess. I’ve had great feedback so far! We’ll see what it brings, its fun to connect with likeminded people.

Taking the dog kids for a run

I feel revived again. Once again looking forward to baking granola, just for the farmers markets and orders from friends. Creating a new one, something decadent with chocolate... A yoga session, walks with the kids/dog through the forest, my new quilt. But gentle, with pleasure, being kind to myself.